Everyone keeps asking me how i am..
i reply that im great
the truth?
well i truely think that i am not fine
i feel as though my whole life has turned upside down in like seconds
i feel as though there is nothing that is ever going to make it go back
i feel like something has been taken from me
forever
i truely have no idea how i feel
all i know is that its not great
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference
to accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference
turned around
okay so everything was going great
and then out of no where
im left completly alone
and my whole life just seems to go upside down
now i have no idea what too do
i mean i did nothing wrong to deserve this did i?
do i go on like im fine?
or do i completly break down?
and then out of no where
im left completly alone
and my whole life just seems to go upside down
now i have no idea what too do
i mean i did nothing wrong to deserve this did i?
do i go on like im fine?
or do i completly break down?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The end of it all
today i was told something
this something has hurt me
its left my heart in milllions of bits and peices
and well i dont know if it will ever be fixed
this something has hurt me
its left my heart in milllions of bits and peices
and well i dont know if it will ever be fixed
Sunday, January 18, 2009
tied together with a smile
Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
You cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
You cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone
Saturday, January 17, 2009
stop the river
man i dont know whats up with me today
thismorning i couldnt really sleep so i got up at seven and went inside
then everything made me feel like crying
then i went to church and stil i felt like crying like at any second it was going to come out
so after i walked home in the rain and cried
i just cried
and now im home(alone for the night) and im still crying ahhh i just cant stop
thismorning i couldnt really sleep so i got up at seven and went inside
then everything made me feel like crying
then i went to church and stil i felt like crying like at any second it was going to come out
so after i walked home in the rain and cried
i just cried
and now im home(alone for the night) and im still crying ahhh i just cant stop
Thursday, January 15, 2009
what a failure
this suck
ahh yesterday i had work at twelve which ment i wouldnt be able to see my exam results till i had finished
six hours later and im almost running home in my long work pants and top in like almost 30 degree temp(okay i not actually sure what it was maybe less)
the first thing i do is go to the computer
man i was soo gutterd
i tried so hard and studied and even sat by myself in some classes to work
ahhh why did i put so much effort into what i know i couldnt do
i had 15 papers
and only passed 4
that means i didnt pass 11
11 papers
i thought i was doing soo well
ahh makes me so angry at myself
then my friend who actually did better then me was upset at herself so i forgot about me and thought about her
but then it made me feel like everything she said about herself she was saying back too me not because thats what she thought of me but because i must be waay more stupid and waay more dumb than she says she is
ahhh i wish that i could get away from having to go to school and tests and exams
im just not good enough for it all
ahh yesterday i had work at twelve which ment i wouldnt be able to see my exam results till i had finished
six hours later and im almost running home in my long work pants and top in like almost 30 degree temp(okay i not actually sure what it was maybe less)
the first thing i do is go to the computer
man i was soo gutterd
i tried so hard and studied and even sat by myself in some classes to work
ahhh why did i put so much effort into what i know i couldnt do
i had 15 papers
and only passed 4
that means i didnt pass 11
11 papers
i thought i was doing soo well
ahh makes me so angry at myself
then my friend who actually did better then me was upset at herself so i forgot about me and thought about her
but then it made me feel like everything she said about herself she was saying back too me not because thats what she thought of me but because i must be waay more stupid and waay more dumb than she says she is
ahhh i wish that i could get away from having to go to school and tests and exams
im just not good enough for it all
Monday, January 12, 2009
here we come..
alright so in like nine whole days is parachute 0h nine
oh my gosh im soo excited
haha and i seriously lay in bed for ages just thinking about it
like how you do the night before christmas..event though im like wayyy too old to be excited about santa..
well anyway i have so many exciting plans for parachute
me and catherine are dressing up because why not go crazy its not like anyone there will know you
so anywho this is our outfits soo far
bright pink tutus
fluro orange roadworkers vests
pink spray mist bottles..so we wont get too hot haha
a lovely pink flowery umbrella
orange or black leggings with boxers over top
pink leg warmers
pigtails..and catherine you are soo doing that :)
ohh glitter
and funny sayings on our backs..suggestions welcomed :)
hehe ohh and we are doing morning arobics sessions
im afraid to say that i dont know much bands that are going but the ones that i do know of im soo excited about seeing ohh and luke thompson i soo love him and he is on mainstage yay
ohh and moshing thats going to be fun
haha i told my grandma about going moshing and shes like 'oh are they finding you heaps of gardens to do' haha i dont think she quite understood it lol but when i explained what it was and all about the death circles she was like 'oh that sounds not very fun at all'
hehe i dont think i could possibly explain the excitement that im feeling lol but see the silly smile on my face and it will explain it all
:)
oh my gosh im soo excited
haha and i seriously lay in bed for ages just thinking about it
like how you do the night before christmas..event though im like wayyy too old to be excited about santa..
well anyway i have so many exciting plans for parachute
me and catherine are dressing up because why not go crazy its not like anyone there will know you
so anywho this is our outfits soo far
bright pink tutus
fluro orange roadworkers vests
pink spray mist bottles..so we wont get too hot haha
a lovely pink flowery umbrella
orange or black leggings with boxers over top
pink leg warmers
pigtails..and catherine you are soo doing that :)
ohh glitter
and funny sayings on our backs..suggestions welcomed :)
hehe ohh and we are doing morning arobics sessions
im afraid to say that i dont know much bands that are going but the ones that i do know of im soo excited about seeing ohh and luke thompson i soo love him and he is on mainstage yay
ohh and moshing thats going to be fun
haha i told my grandma about going moshing and shes like 'oh are they finding you heaps of gardens to do' haha i dont think she quite understood it lol but when i explained what it was and all about the death circles she was like 'oh that sounds not very fun at all'
hehe i dont think i could possibly explain the excitement that im feeling lol but see the silly smile on my face and it will explain it all
:)
Monday, January 5, 2009
...
day by day goes by and it feels like nothing has changed but when i look back i realise everything changed
and then its too late
and then its too late
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