3 years in the waiting

i leave in 1day 14hours 17min

when you choose to do something that you know right from the start to the end is going to be hard
im sure it makes it ten times worse
when you already know what its like
but say your not aloud to go back
its hard
but when you know its for the good
you are able to tellyourself you got to
sometimes..
in the end it will be worth it

everything is good

..well kinda
im putting everything aside for now
bacause its better to be happy
i want to be happy for all my life
i love all my friends and they make me happy and i realised i havent put much time into them which is a terrible thing to do and so im going to work on it
i have this amazing person in my life
his name is shaun
he makes me smile and always knows what to say
and his family are soo nice
ohh and peyton his daughter she is absolutely beautiful
im marrying shaun and he knows it too
what else is good in my life oh just had exam week where we only go into school for exams so ive had lots of time off which is cool and i dont have an exam today
and in 13 days i am leaving for holiday
with my family and we are going to australia
quite excited now
also a bit sad about it
but thats okay
see i told you everything was good
actually im just ignoring the sad bits
its okay though

does anybody hear her

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying But the canyon’s ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She’s another two years older
And she’s three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she’s going down today

east to west

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Draw the line

:

:

:

:

:

heres the line

yet to deside whats on each side

but i know its needed

gosh its hard

how far is too far

whats okay?

whats not?

i know its needed

but lets just forget it

and make it up as we go?

regret a good thing

i have too tell you that i dont want you to come down with me
you dont deserve too

last night was silly as i think there is seriously something wrong with me cause i get sad for no reason and i wont talk to anyone
so i decided to turn to what i knew would cheer me up
it wasnt ment to go any further
it was good for then but hasnt helped me anyway now

just because..

Today i feel like im just one mistake away from you leaving me this way..

i feel like this for no reason
ive lost hope
ive lost the strength to fight
ive lost the truth
but nothing has happened to make me feel like this
i just do

"Circus" by Britney Spears

The All-Eyes-On-Me-In-The-Centre-Of-The-Ring type. You love, you have to be; the centre of attention! Your life is full of drama, in fact, they may be basing a soap opera on it, so your just loving the attention. At times, people believe your life is actually a fiction book playing out before their eyes. In the words of Britney Spears "All Eyes On Me In The Centre of The Ring, Just Like A Circus!" Live your life up, but don't over work it!

i just done this quiz on face book on what my life song is and this is what i got

..

i cant believe how far ive fallen

ahh

ahhh i have too tell you
why did she have to say
everyone thinks its her
i hate it so much

its out there now

she said what i wanted to say
and its true
i just cant say it too you

lies wore

if you told me that i was going to get hurt i would of not believed you
i would of thought you were lieing to me so that i would lose something important at that point of time
i would of thought you were crazy
i would have thought you hated me
i would of thought that you hated them
i would of been so angry at you
i would have decided not to talk to you
i would hate you

i would not have realised that you had background info

i would not have realise that you cared

i would not have realised you were telling the truth

i would not have realised anyone but me

i would not have realised the hurt you were going through

i would not have realised the ammount of times you wanted to yell

i would not have realised you wanted to protect me

seeing it from another prospective makes me realise that sometime people actually dont want to hurt you. being in the oter persons shoes are harder than i thought all you want to do is protect your friend but they dont see that. if someone tells us something that we dont want to be true then we ignore it and then cut that person away from us because its easier to do that then face the truth

'the truth hurts, but the lies worse'